March 11, 2022

I sit in dread and wonder why

Want to smile but can only cry 

Every day is such a hard grind

Treated like shit but still try to be kind 

Sick and tired. Wanting to quit

But when you’re a mom you can’t get away with it. 

Grief. Trauma. Betrayal and hurt

Does it ever get better? 

I’m not sure 

I want  to quit what’s the point in trying.

 Keeping on, but inside I’m dying. 

Smile. Nod, be polite 

But really I’m like dynamite

Ready to blow at any minute 

taking everyone and everything down with it 

You might not notice it’s below the surface 

but what we can’t see can still hurt us

Fighting for peace in the midst of the storm 

Sometimes hard to believe in God’s loving arm

So I’ll sit and wait for the hope that lies beneath, cold and dormant but evergreen. 

-M. Sauls